"HAUNTED BATHROOMS" From Herbie Jones by Suzy Kline
Characters: Narrator, Margie Sherman, Herbie Jones, Raymond Martin, Mr. Bob, Miss Pinkham, Annabelle Louisa Hodgekiss, and ALL
NARRATOR: Herbie and Raymond stood in the school hallway waiting for the morning bell to ring. When they heard screaming in the basement, they dashed downstairs to see what was going on.
MARGIE: Aaaaaugh!!!!! They're HAUNTED!
RAYMOND: What is?
MARGIE: THE BATHROOMS!
NARRATOR: Herbie and Raymond peeked in the boys' bathroom. Mr. Bob was busy mopping up.
RAYMOND: What happened?
MR. BOB: The principal just asked me to clean up extra good this morning. He said some kids were passing rumors about the bathrooom being haunted.
NARRATOR: Ray stepped inside.
RAYMOND; Hey, Herb. Come here. Look what I see in the tall wastebasket. . . BONES!
NARRATOR; Herbie walked inside and reached in the wastebasket.
HERBIE: (Holds bone up.) You mean this?
RAYMOND: Aaaaugh! I'm getting out of here. HERBIE FOUND HUMAN BONES!
NARRATOR; Miss Pinkham had a hard time getting the class to be quiet.
MISS PINKHAM; (Claps 3 times.) ENOUGH! I think, boys and girls, this bathroom business has gotten out of hand. Let's talk about it. . . . one by one. Please raise your hands.
ANNABELLE; I . . . I. . . saw the work BL. . . BL. . . BL. . .BLOOD written in blood!
RAYMOND; Herbie found human bones in the wastepaper basket.
MISS PINKHAM; Do you have them?
HERBIE: One of them.
MISS PINKHAM; May I see it?
NARRATOR; Everyone watched Herbie walk up the aisle. Some kids moved away as he passed by. No one made a sound.
MARGIE; Ah. . . ah . . .ahchoo!
ALL: AAAHH! (Jump and fall back in their seats.)
MISS PINKHAM: Class, there is nothing to be afraid of. Herbie just handed me a chicken bone.
HERBIE; I thought so! That's the bone my sister and I pull on to make a wish.
MISS PINKHAM: I think this has gone entirely too far. Someone is playing a practical joke, and it's not funny. It's time to carry on with our day.
MARGIE: I'm not using the bathroom anymore.
RAYMOND: Me neither.
MISS PINKHAM; You mean to tell me NO ONE will use the bathrooms anymore?
ANNABELLE: I. . . I. . . need to.
MISS PINKHAM: Of course, Annabelle, you may go. We'll carry on as usual, now that using the bathroom is no longer a big deal. It's time for a penmanship lesson.
NARRATOR: Ten minutes later, Herbie walked quietly up to the teacher's desk.
HERBIE: (Whispering) Ah. . . Miss Pinkham. . .
MISS PINKHAM: (Whispering) Yes, Herbie.
HERBIE: Annabelle's not back yet from downstairs.
NARRATOR; Miss Pinkham rolled her eyeballs.
MISS PINKHAM; Oh, my goodness! (Whispering) Will you go down and check on her? I don't want to bring the subject up again. The class has finally settled down.
NARRATOR; When Herbie got halfway down the hall, he started talking to himself.
HERBIE: Check on Annabelle? That means going into the girls' bathroom. (Pause.) But. . . I have to do it. Miss Pinkham needs me.
NARRATOR; Herbie hurried down to the girls' bathroom. He was glad the door was propped open.
HERBIE; I'll just call her name. Ann. . . Annabelle?
NARRATOR; (Long pause.) There was no answer.
HERBIE: (Shouting.) ANNABELLE!
ANNABELLE: (In a soft voice.) I'm in here.
HERBIE: Are you okay?
ANNABELLE: I . . . can't move.
ANNABELLE: I'm . . . too scared.
NARRATOR: Herbie peeked around the door. Annabelle was standing in once corner of the girls' bathroom, frozen stiff.
HERBIE: Just come on out. Miss Pinkham sent me to get you.
ANNABELLE: I . . . I can't move, Herbie. The bathroom ghost will get me.
HERBIE: Don't be silly. That's a big joke. Remember those bones? They were chicken bones. Just walk out.
ANNABELLE: It says THE GHOST IS HERE in blood.
HERBIE: That's probably red fingernail polish. It looks like the kind my sister uses. Come on out, Annabelle.
NARRATOR; When Herbie didn't hear anything, he said firmly,
HERBIE: I'M COMING IN!
NARRATOR; Herbie said it loud the way janitors do just in case someone is in there.
HERBIE; HERE I COME, ANNABELLE!
NARRATOR; Herbie stormed in the bathroom, grabbed Annabelle's arm and raced back into the hallway.
ANNABELLE: Herbie, weren't you afraid?
HERBIE: Of course I was. A boy's not supposed to be in the girls' bathroom.